Dear Iowa:

You had one job.

Since last summer, you have had candidates and support staff and TV and radio and print reporters and pundits and bloggers and volggers and their support staffs at your county fairs every weekend, eating your pork chops and corn dogs and butter cows and county fair pies and spending money in your hotels and motels and bars and restaurants and buying your coffee and corn muffins and using your laundromats and buying your postcards from July 4th thru Thanksgiving.

They returned right after Jan. 1 to buy more gas for the LIVE TV trucks and rental vehicles and stay at your 5-star hotels and your fleabags.

The candidates bought all those glossy, colorful, expensive mass mailers and T-shirts and bumper stickers and campaign tsotchkes. Then, there’s the fortune spent on print and radio ads and TV commercials.

Political buffs from out of state to volunteer or just be “caucus tourists.” They spend money, too.

You blew it.

Now you have given everyone a reason to take away your caucus.

But if you just gave them reason to take the first primary from New Hampshire, we are going to have a problem.

We are quaint and beautiful, urban and rural (and we have a sea coast!).

And we know how to compile data.


Your neighbors to the east,

The Granite State


5 Central Square Terrace No. 408