So this morning I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and meditated for 20 minutes. Unlike other days, I had a very hard time reaching a peaceful state.

First, my mind was racing about all the things that were bothering me. That took up quite some minutes. I thought to myself, ”This is not a relaxing mindfulness experience, I feel like I’m on overload.”

Again, I took a breath in and out. I noticed the air flow coming in and out of my nose. This active mind of mine did not want to calm down. I started thinking, “Am I doing it right? This is a very different experience than yesterday.” After a good 15 minutes my mind started thinking of how I could feel better and not get so bothered by certain events in my life. I continued following my breath and then my mind started filling up with solutions and how to take action. Still my mind was now racing with different game plans. After 20 minutes of meditating I felt a little relief, because instead of focusing on the problem, I now found some solutions. However, my mind was still very active.

Now you might ask yourself, “Is that meditating?” I say, “Yes, absolutely!” Each day you do the best you can with all the thoughts you have running around in your brain. It will never be the same experience as the day before. Just know that and stop competing with yourself. Even if it’s not perfect, it is still good.

Remember, you are training your brain, so it takes time and commitment. Instead, you can think, “At least I took 20 minutes of the day to try and calm my mind and train it to become more peaceful.”

Ditteke Ederveen-Gorman writes from Keene. She has been helping people to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into their daily lives, so that they feel happier and more peaceful. A former model and actress, she writes, teaches and speaks about mindfulness to adults and children. Visit her blog at