Cratchit’s Five Star
Omar (OM), cashier, Swami and former tent maker
Gunner, Vietnam vet, low roller, townie
Shifty, street urchin, PhD in Ancient Sanskrit, loner
Mr. Bluster, big wheel, narcissist, miser, exploiter
Lucy, deli queen, sweetheart, yoga instructor
Just as the sun squinted over Beech Hill
Shifty pulled out a crinkled oil-soaked Honest Abe 5 spot
And flashed it in front of Omar’s face
This herez for two Tall Boy Natty Lights, OM!
OM smiled, A little early there Shifty ain’t it!?
Youz, ain’t my Ma OM so shut yur trap
Cripes how’d ya Injuns git here anyhowz?
I flew United flight 2781 Shifty, and that will be $7.25!
Dang, what the hell’s happened ta da U.S. of A.?
Anyway, thanks OM!
Yur a good man don’t let no one tell ya no different.
Oh, Shifty I need nother two and a quarter I’ll cover da quarter!
Later at the 5 Star
Gunner was scratching away
Scratching his last two clams that is
Times were tough, but what else is new?
This here’s a picnic compared ta Nam!
All ya really need in life are three squares,
A bed roll, and some good undies!
This time baby, this time, come up, come up!
Omar rolled his eyes and looked out at the breaking day
Next time, next time, Gun! Here, here’s a couple of bucks
Ta get yur down da street and a pack of smokes.
Now don’t do no mo gambl’n wid it, ya hear?
Ah, Mr. Bluster, how you doing on this fine day?
Great OM can ya tell Lucy back there ta make me an Italian Grinder with her special sauce?
Ya, ya sir. Hey, new Mercedes?
Ya, just got her, actually not mine, it’s the wifey’s, I’m just taking her out. God she hums!
Who, the car or your wife?
Funny, OM, funny!
Sure, looks pretty sir, anything else?
Ya, a pack of Marlboro Reds, not for me of course,
And one of those Steve’s Woopie pies, God they’re addictive!
Not for you of course! Here you go sir!
Hey, back there Lucy, you’re the best. I mean it!
Thank you, Mr. Blusterd! (female voice from “the back”)
Hey OM, isn’t Lucy great, I mean like holy you know what!
Ya, she is! Ready for Christmas Sir?
Naw, not me you know it’s work, work, work, grind away, make a buck, silly holiday!
Oh! Will that do ya for today? Anything more?
Ya, here’s one for ya OM, how about Peace on Earth Good Will Towards All Men? Ha ha ha ha!
Sorry Mr. Bluster, we can’t ever seem to get to that one! See ya next time!